The Rotten Habit

After packing and unpacking my stuffs, from college to home,
i discovered something.
I have a bad habit.
A very very rotten habit.

I like to keep things.
Papers, bank slips, receipts, cigarette boxes, everything.
Rubbish.
But nothing's rotten bout that.

Wanna go to the sauna?

I tend to keep things, even when it's rotten/spoilt/rosak.
And in this case, it's food.

No, i don't keep nasi lemak or sate or whatever.
Usually, it's things like chocolates, sweets, biscuits, cakes, snacks, jajan, whatever.
They are the victims.

During the Raya season, there's a lot of cakes and kuihs in my house.
So, i brought a tupperware full of Kek Lapis Sarawak to college.
Of course, i couldn't finish it.
So, i kept it away in the cupboard, and totally forgot about it.

E.coli? Check. Fungi? Check. Salmonella? Check.

My sister likes to bake cakes, and everything that she bakes tastes hella good.
But the same thing happens, and in this case, the victim is a Chocolate Marble Cheese Cake.
I brought it to college, eat some, then keep it, and then forget. (err sorry Sis)

Doesn't look like marble to me alright

It's not that i don't want to eat it, it's not that it tastes bad (i wouldn't bring it in the first place then) or anything.
It's just procrastination at its highest level.
Whenever i remembered about it, i would go

"Ahh nanti la makan.. takde mood la."

And so i end up forgetting about the whole thing.
Damn.

Fruits are no exceptions too.
Especially fruits that needs to be peeled off, like pears, apples and such.

I said fruit, not speaker. Focus!

I would always take fruits from the dining hall in my college, and put it in my room.
Just to let it rot, i guess.


Even my friends ask me when am i going to throw THAT rotten pear.
Rather than throwing it straight away, i would say,

"Ala, nanti la.. biar je la dulu.. Sibuk ar kau.."

Once, i collected quite a number of fruits, enough to make a fruit basket and left it all in my friend's room.
One day, monkeys break into his room, and made a mess out of the rotten fruits.
Nice eh?
Sorry bro, my fault. hehe

Dude, where's my balls?

I've learned my lesson, and i i'll try to kick this habit away.
So, as a punishment to myself, i forced myself to come up with a pantun.

Kalau dimakan semua nanti gemuk,

Kalau tak dimakan pulak merajuk,

Kalau disimpan nanti berlapuk,

Hai, susah susah bagi je kat beruk!

The Infested Tea

Drinking a hot cup of tea during this rainy season is a nice way to warm up your body.
And drinking tea while studying keeps you alert, and can stimulate the brain.
But it is also known that tea can dehydrate you faster. Right?

So, i made myself a cup of tea.
Cameron Valley Lemon Flavoured Tea, to be precise.
Not bad.

But since i was too busy studying, i drank only half of it.
After i finished studying, and when i wanted to finish it, my tea looks infested with stuffs.
Take a look.

Specimen A

Now, there are many particles in there.
I wonder how these things got into my tea.
And sorry for the picture quality. I don't do DSLRs.
Let's look at it one by one.

Ashes
These ashes may come from something burning in my room, for example, paper, or even tobacco. Hmm.. Maybe there were people smoking nearby, and the ashes got inside.

Hair
Don't ask me what hair that is. I don't want to know. But i can tell you that it is not curly.

Ants
There are about 8 ants inside my tea. For your information, i didn't put that much sugar inside. Not because i'm a health freak, but i'm running out of sugar. Wait. The sugar isn't even mine. Ants are bad for you and your brain. The old folks would always say,

Jangan makan semut. Bila cukup 44 semut nanti jadi pelupa/bodoh.
(Don't eat the ants. If you eat 44 of them, you'll become forgetful/stupid)

Although it may seem illogical, and there's no proof, it's quite right actually.
I may have eaten around 44000 ants in my lifetime. So, you do the math.

Stapler bullet
Now this is stupid.
Where the hell did THAT come from?
I for sure do not have a stapler, nor a stapler bullet. And i haven't been using one for a long time.
Or did the wind blew it inside? No way right.

My friend's explanation was even better.

Kau kena santau la tu. Dah macam cerita Long Khong dah. 
Lepas ni kau muntah ubat stapler la..

HAHAHAHAHA

The Fuel Lid/Cover

This is the continuation of the post entitled I Filled Up the Gas for Free.
If you haven't read it yet, it is advisable that you read it first so that you can attain the maximum input from
the story.
Click here to read it.

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So, right after filling up the gas with the girlfy at the Kg. Baru Petronas station,
we decided to go to Mid Valley to pick up our booked cinema ticket, Jennifer's Body.

To avoid the after-office traffic jam,  we used some shortcuts here and there (Girlfy is GPS).
We even used the University Malaya exits to avoid traffic.
And just right outside UM, near the Pantai area, something weird happened.

There were quite a lot of cars on the road, and the traffic was somewhat heavy.
Then there was this rempitmotorcyclist beside our car.
The windscreen was wind down (the Kancil Turbo has faulty air-conds) and this motorcyclist guy is shouting to us, from the girlfy's side.

Kak, kak!

The guy was shouting to the girlfy, and he was pointing towards the car.
I looked at the guy, and i was like, what the hell is wrong with this him?
I'm afraid that he might snatch the girlfy's handbag or something (this cases do happen).

I looked again at him, and he looks kinda familiar.
Wait, this guy looks familiar.
Oh, it's a faculty mate.
Then he shouted,

Eh, Arip!
Weh, tempat minyak kau terbukak doh!

I couldn't really hear him because both of us were speeding.
After a while, i managed to understand what he was saying, and so i immediately stopped by the road
to take a look.

Indeed. The fuel lid was open, and the fuel tank's lid was right on top of the car.
Still there, unmoved.

Gempak tak?

I'm not sure how did the thing can manage to stay up there from Kg. Baru to Bangsar via Damansara.
It's as if the thing did not move at all, even after some extreme manoeuvres and all.
What are the odds?

I would not want to imagine what would, or could have happened if i did not realise about the fuel lid.
Just a flick of a cigarette would blow us into smithereens, and you would be reading some tragic story in the newspaper instead of this post.

Now, THAT, was close.
I still do have a little bit of luck in me i guess.

So, the moral of the story is

If you want to take money which is not yours, always be EXTRA careful after that.

Never ever take anything that doesn't belong to you. 

Honesty is the best policy.

Or are there more lessons?

Ahh.. whatever. I learned mine.

Nyamuk!

I hate mosquitoes. Don't you just hate them?
Mosquitoes are a pain in the ass.
For the past few days, i cannot sleep because of these bloody little bastards.
It is a cause for concern, especially since the recently rising number of the chikunya/chikugunya/kinokuniya/whatever disease these mosquitoes bring.

Aren't they annoying?
They keep on buzzing on your ears.
Argh. The sound it makes. I simply hate.

And it doesn't help either that i'm the type of person who always let the windows open all day long. What, you expect me to shut the windows when evening comes? No way. I would suffocate then. Even if i shut the windows, the mosquitoes will already be around, inside my room. I would only shut the windows when i turn on the air-cond, when i want to sleep, of course.

Imagine, sitting in front of the laptop, or even watching the TV, every 2 minutes or so, i'll be scratching here and there.

What's even worse, no matter how much i spray the Shieldtox onto them, those pesky little mosquitoes would be back after 10 minutes or so. Instead of killing them, i'm the one getting intoxicated.
And of course, it doesn't really help when you don't have a proper Shieldtox around.

Note to self: Never ever buy these brands.

What the fuck? H20 aerosol spray? H20?! No wonder the mosquitoes don't die.
Buk-Out Insect Spray? What kind of a bloody name is that?
Damn, what happened to the good ol' Mortein and Shieldtox?
Sadly, i couldn't find those around in my house. I wonder why.

So, that leaves me with the good ol' traditional method.
The 'bait-wait-and-bam' method.
That's right. Everybody knows this method.
Bait the mosquito with your hand, feet whatever, wait for it to land,
and BAM! strike.

The successful implementation of the 'bait-wait-and-bam' method

But then again, it's not that easy when you have an army of mosquito around, and they just don't stop coming at you. Wave after wave.
You just can't manually kill them all.
My hands turn red and sore hunting these bastards.

After killing as many mosquitoes that i could, i finally went to sleep.
Just as i was about to enter the Dreamland, there's the familiar sound again. Buzzing over my ears.
ARGH!

Of course, when i sleep, it's dark, right? I can't see the mosquitoes, all i can is just hear them.
So, what is your first reaction when you're sleeping and there's mosquitoes buzzing at your ears? You try to hit them of course. But the problem is, it's dark.
And you end up hitting yourself.
Nice.

So, i got up from the bed, turn on the lights, and start hunting for mosquitoes.

And the biggest problem is, mosquitoes nowadays are so damn smart. When you hold the aerosol spray, by just holding it, suddenly there's no mosquitoes around. There's nothing to spray to. WTF? When you put down the spray can, it starts buzzing at your ears again.
It's damn annoying i tell you.

And one of the stupidest thing is, when i finally managed to find a mosquito to spray to, it will fly to the air-cond.
And without thinking much, and with full of rage and fury, i sprayed the mosquito.
And indirectly, i sprayed towards the air-cond. Running, of course.

What happens?
The spray is turned back towards me.
FUCK YOU mosquito.

In the end, i gave up.
I sprayed the whole room, and quickly get under my comforter.
And you guessed it, after 5 minutes, the mosquito came back and started dancing and singing to my ears.

Do what you want lah. I give up. Suck all my royal blood out.
I don't care. I just want a good night's sleep.

But it won't be long before the pepatah,
kerana nyamuk seekor, habis kelambu dibakar
becomes true.

The story of Double 6 Double 9, and the Triple 6, Nine

Another late post. Should have posted this earlier, but since i am so busy celebrating Deeparaya studying, i did not have much time, to blog. hahaha.

So, in the last post, i said that i'll tell you the story about the Maxis-Celcom thingamajiggy, right?

Actually, i wanted to change from Maxis to Celcom for quite a long time already. From Hotlink, to be precise. Why? Because it's bullshit. They say that the prepaid plan is the cheapest lah, the best lah, and whatever lah, but actually that is all bullshit, to me that is. I rarely SMS, what more call the people outside of my so-called Activ10, or whatever. But still, my credit seems to dissapear just like that.

Sometimes i tried to calculate how much do they actually charge for my calls, as they say it is flat rate all across the country or whatever. I called a friend, whose number is not a Central number, and i called for LESS than a minute. And they charged me RM 0.80 for that. WTF? And one time, i called a friend, whose number is Celcom, and got into his voicemail. By 2 seconds, i hung up. And it costs me 69 bloody cents!

So, i finally decided to change to Celcom Postpaid. Executive Plan with 1+5 thingy. I went straight to the Menara Celcom (it was near my house by the way) with the girlfy, so that i won't have to deal with the branches and other stuffs that might take a long time to process.
At first, i wanted to take up the MNP program, where you can use your Maxis number, and convert it to a Celcom line, which means, my number will still be the same, but now a Celcom line. Interesting. I don't have to tell people that i've changed my number or anything. My number will still be the same. Very interesting.

But then again, to apply for that thing, i would have to wait for around a week, and then some other tnc's. Since i'm in no mood for waiting, i opted to take a new number instead, and i can use it instantly. So, me and the girlfy had the opportunity to choose our own number, by giving the last 4 numbers or the first 3 numbers that we wanted.

In my hands huh?

And this is where the whole process seems like forever. Both of us kept arguing on what number to choose, and yada yada. We chose the last 3 numbers, and so what we did was just look for some nice first 4 numbers. After more than half an hour of choosing and arguing, we finally managed to find a really really good number.

The number was
019-6699xxx and 019-6669xxx

xxx = the last 3 numbers that we have chosen.


Nice numbers. And both of us wanted to take the first one. Yes, easier to pronounce. Double six, double 9, xxx. And so, we fought and argued and what not. Finally, it had to be settled with the classic "one-two jus". Yeah, who cares if everybody's watching. Who cares what will the ever so patient officer will say. So, 5 rounds of "one-two jus". And as expected, i lost.
Sigh.
Okay fine, i'll take triple six, nine, xxx. Not that bad after all la kan. 666 is the number of the devil kan, so sesuai la kan? LOL.

After writing all the necessary details and all, i'm still tak puas hati with my number. Then, i demanded to scour for a new, more interesting number. Punya la sibuk sangat kisah nombor. The girlfy agrees, and we went on to check for more numbers. Then i thought to myself,
Baik ambik je nombor ni cepat. Karang cari-cari baru tak jumpa yang lawa, nanti nombor yang dah pilih tu orang lain pulak ambik.
So, finally, we took the numbers.
The double 6 double 9, and the triple 6, nine.

Not that bad after all, at least it rhymes, it has less repeating numbers, and i have the same last 3 numbers with the girlfy. Nice huh?
So, i became the primary line, while the girlfy takes the supplementary line plan.

So, we went out of the Menara Celcom, and went for an evening tea, as it was already around 5pm, where the bloody mad rush hour begins. And with rain, of course.

While in the car, my phone rang (no, the new number is not yet activated until 3 hours later). Unfamiliar number. But familiar voice. Oh, the Celcom guy just now.

Encik Mohammad Arief ye? Ni saya dari Celcom. Yang register nombor tu tadi.

Hmm. Okay, this doesn't sound good. What the hell does he want? I paid already right?

Ni ada masalah sikit la. Nombor yang encik nak tu tadi sebenarnye dah ada orang ambik la.

WTF?!?
Macam mana pulak boleh macam tu?!

Ni system ni update die lambat sikit la. Database die update lambat sikit. Sorry ye encik. Nombor tu dah ade orang ambik lebih kurang sejam sebelum encik datang.

La, habis macam mana pulak? Dah bayar semua dah.

Encik pilih nombor baru la. Nombor yang untuk supplementary tu masih ada, cuma nombor encik je yang tak ada.

Okay, now that pissed me off real hard. Why me? Why my number? Why the number that i chose? Why not someone else?
Of all people subscribing a new Celcom line that time, why me?? What are the fucking odds?
Arghhh.

After some lengthy discussions, both me and the girlfy decided to change to a new number. At least it's fair, huh? Lucky that the girlfy agreed though. hahaha.
So, we repeated the same process again.
Choose a new number. Give the last 3 or first 4.
But this time via SMS with the Celcom officer, while sipping hot Milo on a rainy evening. How nice.

In the end, we got a sucky number. Malas nak pilih dah.

019-669xxxx

xxxx = last 4 numbers that we chose.

See? Now not nice oredi. No more double 6 double 9. No more triple 6 or number of the devil or whatever, and no more nice rhymes. So, both of us changed to that number. With different but near numbers in the xxxx, of course.

Bak kata pepatah Melayu,
Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang digendong berciciran.
Last-last dapat sampah.

So much for the "It's in your hands" tagline.
Celcom, you scored -69 on my first impression counter.

But then again, flashy numbers are just for show. As if people will remember your number no matter how "nice" it is. All you get is just a good first impression when you're telling them your number. At the end of the day, no matter how beautiful your number is, they will all end up in a phone book. When people call you, they search for your name, not your beautiful number.
So i guess, it's not that bad after all huh?

Ceh, kata-kata menyedapkan hati sendiri je.
Bila nak sedapkan hati sendiri, pandai la pulak buat pepatah and kesimpulan sendiri kan?

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