What the Fuck is This Shit?

So i went to the cafe the other day, to lepak and waste time and what not.
Since i am a poorfag, i just took an ais kosong, or sky juice.

It's free, and it's err.. healthy? Yeah, sugar and condensed milk is bad for the six pack yo.

While i was half-way drinking, i can't help but to look inside my drink.
You know me, right.
And i saw this.

What the fuck is that shit floating in my drink???

I'm not sure where it came from, or how, and i don't really quite know if it has been inside all along, or what.
So, i threw it away and got the hell out of the cafe immediately.

It does remind me a lot of this story which happened 3 years ago.
So what do you think it is, people?

Please don't tell me it's..

Good News For Sad People

Sad people live longer.

What?
This is based on a research, or so it seems.

A study found that children rated as "highly cheerful" by teachers died younger than their less cheerful classmates.

I am highly cheerful. I'm hyper at times.
Does this mean i'm gonna die earlier than those sad bunch of people? tehehehee

People who are extremely happy tend to indulge in more risky behaviour such as taking drugs, drinking too much, driving too fast or even using up their life savings without thinking through the consequences of their actions.

Well, there is logic to this. Err.. we tend to do stupid things when we are happy. Or are we happy because we do stupid things? Oh, who cares, ignorance is bliss after all.
And negativity leads to fear, which in turn leads to good behaviour. lololol the fuck?

Think.

And this is the best part.

"The strongest predictor of happiness is not money, or external recognition through success or fame," said study co-author, Professor June Gruber at Yale University. "It's having meaningful social relationships."

Money fucking rules everything baby!
Social relationships? What social relationships. Nobody does that anymore nowadays.
Now, people judge your social status by the number of friends you have on Facebook and the number of comments you get.
ha fucking ha

So, the conclusion from this research is that, in order to live long, you gotta be sad.
Sad people are always mad, depressed and lonely. And they get to be that way for a long time. Good for them then.

So, which side are you on?
I'd rather die early and happy than live a long fucking sad life.

Live happy or at least die trying. ha ha ha

How Well Do You Know Your Shit?

To be the shit, you gotta know your shit. heh
So, here's a diagram for you to get to know your shit better.

The types of shit are

Click for larger shit

So, which shit do you usually shit?
Some people say that you are what you eat. But i think you are what you shit.
No?

Don't forget to check your shit later ok guys? And if you are willing you can share your shit as well. ahaha

And speaking of shit, it reminded me of this.

Wait for it..

Holy shi-

It was a long time ago, you can click HERE to read the shit story (pun not intended).
Sorry if i made you puke or lose your appetite. That's the whole point.

March Madness

Hey there peeps!
Sorry for the long delay, i'm lazy like hell I have been busy lately.
Nah, i won't bore you with that.

My last post was in early March, and a lot have happened during that period.
The earthquake, the tsunami and all? Yeah, that happened on the 11th of March.
And it was also my birthday, that day.

Yeah! My birthday was so awesome that God threw in earthquakes and tsunamis for the partayyy!
Cool, no?
ha ha ha
Okay, flame me if you want, but it's still not too late to wish me a happy belated birthday.

Posts will resume like normal starting tomorrow, or maybe even later tonight, depends on your luck.
kthxbai

Valentine's Day HARAM and All That Shit

Today is the 14th of February, which is the Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Day seems to be the hot topic these days, with more than a few parties stating that it is haram and what not.

Now, this is an endless debate. Some say it's okay, some say it's haram while some just don't give a fuck.
Well, call me cetek pengetahuan agama, or a pagan/atheist/freethinker whatever, but personally, i think it's not haram and it's just like any other celebration.

It's just like any other day

People say it's haram because of the history of the day, and remembering the saint/priest and shit. But really, who gives a shit about that priest?
People celebrate the day with their loved ones, and they go out for dinner, give roses (among other things), and not pray to the priest or give offerings to him or something.
SomeMost people don't even know the history at all.

Apparently, nobody really knows or gives a fuck about this dude

People would always say, 'Oh, i don't celebrate Valentine' because it's against our culture'.
What the fuck?
If you don't want to celebrate it, that's up to you, but what is against our culture? Why oppose other people celebrating it?
Is going to dinner against our culture?
Just because we go for a dinner on a Valentine's Day makes it haram, is it?

This, leads to something haram

Of course, you can show your love on any other day of the year, but is it wrong to show it on this day as well?
Does this mean that to be a true Muslim, we must NOT show our love and NOT give gifts at all for this whole day?
Does this mean it is not haram when we go out on any other day except Valentine's?

I don't see anything haram in this

What is haram is the haram activities. If you have sex or give up your virginity to celebrate with your partner, THAT is haram .
If you have beer or wine or some alcohol, that is haram .
But heck, it is haram on any other day too, right? You don't need a fucking reason or a special day to do haram stuffs.
And just because Valentine's Day is associated with love and sex, it does not mean everybody is gonna do it.
Get what i'm saying here?

This is definitely haram

I know a lot of you might disagree, but hey, this shit is overhyped.
They say, 'any day can be a celebration of love, why just show it today?'
Who the fuck shows it just today? Everybody loves each other and even make love every fucking day but today is just that extra special day, just like your birthday.
Everyday is your fucking birthday if you really appreciate your life.

So, since tomorrow is Maulidur Rasul, why only show your love to the Prophet just on that day, why not everyday?
Why do we celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day? Does that mean we only love our prophet/father/mother only on that day?
Big fucking NO, right?

So basically Valentine's Day is just a special day for this, just to make it more interesting. Just like those other commemorative days. You can celebrate anything you want anytime you want, it's just that this day is 'the official' day. No big deal.

Is this haram? I don't think so

Heck, even father's and mother's day originates from the West, so why do you follow that? To say that Valentine's Day is not for our culture is utter bullshit. As long as you don't do anything haram, nothing is haram, no matter what.
Just because you go out for a dinner and buy a bouquet of roses for your partner on a Valentine's Day is haram, is it? If it is, what about on normal days? HALAL?
Puii!

You gotta be kidding me if this is haram too?

And, what about the festive seasons? Muslims don't celebrate Christmas, Muslims don't celebrate Gong Xi Fa Cai and Deepavali. But they still wish each other and go to open houses and all, right?
Is that haram as well?
No, right?
What about the spirit of 1Malaysia?

If you say that giving gifts and all on a Valentine's Day is haram because we are indirectly worshipping the saint, so does this mean going to openhouses on a Deepavali means we are worshipping the Hindu gods too?
Hell NO right?

Please be fucking consistent on your fucking judgement and don't use the priest shit to back up your stupid argument.
Again, Valentine's Day is haram for Muslims IF / WHEN you do haram activities or if you pray to the priest or you make a sacrifice for him or some shit.
Haram thing is haram no matter what no matter when.
Wishing others a Happy Valentine's Day is fine.

I admit, i'm no Ustaz to make a fatwa nor am i a religious dude with a vast religious knowledge, heck, there's a lot that i don't know, but what i do know is how to use my fucking common sense.

This.. is not necessary

These 3rd-world mentality needs to fucking change people.
Don't just go about saying this is bad, that is haram while you don't even know shit.
It is haram in some way, but not the way that most people think it is.

Oh by the way, i'm not 'celebrating' Valentine's Day anyway.
No, not because that i'm afraid of a fucking JAIS raid (not that i have anything to be afraid of anyway). Not because i think it's haram.
It's just that the Girlfy is not around. *sobs*

To those that are caught in tangkap khalwat, they deserved it. Padan muka, bodoh. Dah tau sekarang banyak rush lagi nak pergi hotel. Memalukan bangsa and agama. 

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day (if you wish to be wished), and a good day to you.
Everybody has their own opinion, and so do I. If you have anything to say regarding this, or if you think that there is a mistake somewhere, please, by all means, drop a comment below.

Why it's Bad to Sleep During Maghrib [True Story]

Sleeping during the senja or dusk or Maghrib time is not a good idea.
You'll always oversleep and you'll end up with a bad headache.

This is what happened to me last night.
Click the picture to view my comic. X)

Click on it to have a better view and click again to zoom

True story.
Have you experienced anything like this?
I'm sure you have.

How to Stay Active the Whole Day

When you go to work, the mornings are always the hardest part. Agree?

Waking up is one thing, taking the cold shower is another, and getting through the morning rush takes it to another level.

You can't escape it, hell no. 

It's kinda funny to see how people seem to be so sleepy in the morning.

Sleeping in the train, on the bus, while driving and so on.

Everyday of this shit makes you unhealthy

I'm never sleepy in the morning. In fact, i'm at my freshest best.

Why? 

Because i RAGE a lot, especially in the morning.

RAGE at the elevator stopping at every fucking floor, RAGE at those people who just don't fucking know how stand on the left side of the escalator, RAGE at the people who take their fucking sweet time to walk and block the whole pathway, RAGE at the coffee machine, RAGE RAGE RAGE!!!!

Well, that kept me going, and that kept my blood pumping all day long.

So, there you go, a tip no one else will give on how to stay active the whole day.

The answer is RAGE.

On a happier note, today is Friday!

Hello weekends!

X)

January

Lately, i've been posting some trivial stuffs, some stupid stuffs and sometimes nothing at all.
I've not been able to reply to all your comments lately, let alone visit your blogs.
And thank you so much to those that still come here and all. 

I'm already one month into my internship now, and everything's just great and awesome at work, and I actually do have the time to do some blogging now, heheh.
So, did I miss anything?
How's your 2011 so far?

Well, for me, as usual, things are.. well.. let's just say.. interesting.
There's a lot of things that i wanted to write that will go directly under the label Sial, and hell i'm sure there's a lot more to come.

My everyday expression

Eh

Eh it's been close to a month since I updated my blog.
I have been busy with exams and looking for places to do my internship.
And i'll be starting my internship next week already.

Basically this is the last week of my freedom.
Aaaaaa

And i'm sorry I haven't got the time to reply the comments, yet.
They are greatly appreciated though.
Keep em' coming aite?

Posts will resume like normal, I promise.
Maybe today, i hope.
X)

Violence

We have all seen and heard the news.
But lately, it's on the rise eh?
Almost everyday, there's the issue of a fight between a man and a woman,
some dude running amok and slaughtered the whole family,
and then there's the one who splashes acid.
Ahh, and don't forget them babies dumped just like that.

Sigh.
What's happening to the society?
How could these people stoop so low?
Where is the respect?
Where is the love?

Somehow, it reminds me of Eminem's song, Love the Way You Lie, featuring Rihanna.
Cool lyrics as always, and it portrays the reality of life.

But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snap
Whose that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

 Then, there's this part where at the start of a relationship, the whole world feels like paradise where unicorns eat rainbows and shits butterflies,
but then somehow suddenly it turns into a big pile of shit.
Yeah, welcome to the real world.

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get em
Now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at em
You swore you'd never hit em, never do nothin' to hurt em
Now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit em
You push pull each other's hair
Scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em
So lost in the moments when you're in em

Go and check out the video. It has Megan Fox in it. 

Damnnnnn hot and naise.

So, look back, and think.

And here's a quote that we all should live by, from the legendary Chuck Norris.

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.”

Ramadhan Wishes

Rather on rambling about when was my last post and promising people to start updating regularly again,
i decided not to, this time around.

Sometimes, we might say a lot of things, we might promise a lot of stuffs, we might tell the whole world our projections, the future as we see it, and what not.
I am not really that kind of a person, really.
I prefer to sit quiet, do my work and let the results speak for themselves.

Whoa, why so serious? Chill lah!

Okay okay, since we are only a day away from the holy month of Ramadhan,
it would be best to start over a new chapter, a new beginning.
You sensed it coming huh, guess what,
i'm gonna start blogging actively again! Yeah, again!
(how many times have you heard that, huh?)

Nahh, seriously, now, i've got a LOT of free time, and i thought to myself,
why not.
After all, i do enjoy writing and also bloghopping to YOUR blogs.

It's close to 2 freaking months, and i actually have a LOT to write about!
Some interesting things that have happened over the past few months (that i actually wanna write but my busy schedule forbids me, ahem) include:

• The holidays and the holiday activities
• Winning some cool contests
• SIFE National Exposition 2010
• The FIFA World Cup
• Football, football and more football
• My sialness
• and more of my sialness

Aha!
Not much of a list for two months worth, but hey, that's quite a lot.
So, which one of those would you like me to write about first?
(whoa, after two months of silence suddenly come up with a list asking people vote for the next topic)

Anyway, i would like to wish all Muslims a very happy fasting month,
Eid Mubarak to all,
may the guidance and blessings of Allah be with you and your loved ones.

Now, time for blog hopping!
X)

Nightmares

Have you ever had a nightmare, and when you wake up,
you feel like the whole fucking dream was so bloody true?

And you start to get fucking cranky all day long,
and you just feel like breaking or smashing something?

Have you ever had a nightmare, and when you wake up,
all you wanted to do was just to continue sleeping peacefully, but you just can't?

You end up rolling and twisting and turning on your bed,
just thinking what the fuck is wrong?

Have you ever had a nightmare, and when you wake up,
and when you try to recall the dream, it's just so vague?

There's hardly anything that you can remember,
which makes it even more depressing.

Have you ever had a nightmare, and when you wake up,
the weather is all gloomy and makes you feel even more miserable?

The dreams that you had was in black and white,
dark yet bright, just like the weather.

Well, i just had one of those,
and i sure as hell don't fucking like it.

*Edited/Updated*
Going for the Friday prayers sure does help to cleanse the mind, though.
(this statement is not for justification purposes, mind you, ahem)

I Don't Listen to Songs Anymore

Sounds emo, huh?
Nah.. i'm not.

But really, i don't really listen to my song collections anymore nowadays.
Especially while surfing the Internet.
Why?

Collections?

Because i just can't.

Almost every blog in this blogosphere has a bloody song player in it.
A widget, a playlist bar, a jukebox, whatever.

I know i know, it's your blog.
Heck, i'm not even asking you to remove it or what.
Who cares if you want to put the whole Lady Gaga album on the player?
I don't care. I don't mind.
Really.

But i suggest, yes, just a suggestion, that you change it-
from autoplay to play-when-clicked.
That makes more sense, doesn't it?

It's not that i'm mad or anything, it's just that i happen to have a huge speaker, with perma-maxed volumes.
So, it would be kinda fucked up when your player plays songs which has some girls moaning and some stupid jackass screaming right at the start.
Or has Satan screaming for blood and souls.

Try this.
MAX out your speaker volume.
Hit the play button.

Please press play, please!

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

If you followed my instructions carefully, you will say:
WHAT THE FUCK?
Right?


To make things even worse, picture this.
You opened a large number of tabs in your browser.
You opened this blog and that blog and every other blog,
and suddenly,
a mashup of songs occur!

A little bit of Nur Kasih here, some Lady Gaga there, mixed up with Aris Ariwatan, one from Cradle of Filth. Oh, and some Miley Cyrus too.

Argh!
If finding the right tab to close was difficult,
finding the player to hit the pause/stop button is near-impossible.

But fret not my dear friends and readers,
even if you have a very annoying playlist, i don't mind.


That's why the MUTE button was invented.

Nobody Likes to Lose

Who does, right?
But losing 3-0?
Damn.

Arsenal did not live up to their expectation in the match against Chelsea.
And the manner that they lost it makes it even a harder pill to swallow.
Fuck, when are they ever gonna grow up and end their 'transition' phase?

No wonder.

On the bright side,
the Arsenal players have donated a day's salary to the Great Ormond Street Hospital for charity.
Maybe that's why they lost.
Here's the video of them dressing up as furry animals.



Oh,
and what i like about big football matches is that,
suddenly your old friends will send you messages just to say 'hi' and 'apa khabar',
right after the final whistle is blown.

Ooh, the pain, the agony.

Those who don't watch football (especially females) might not understand what the hell am i rambling about huh?

The Caller Ringtone That You Will Hate

Just now, i tried calling the girlfy.But then, it looks like she has changed her caller ringtone.
Hmm.. that's weird.
And she did not even pick up.

Nevermind.
Next, i tried calling a friend to wake him up.
He asked me to wake him up via the phone, instead of knocking on his door.
Whatever.

So, i called him.
But then, this friend of mine is also having the same caller ringtone as the girlfy.
Damn. I smell something fishy going on.

So, i decided to call another friend, to ask what's going on.
Yeah, i'm very generous. I like to call people eventhough their rooms are just next to mine.

It's the same caller ringtone.
Damn, what the hell is going on here?

I tried calling other numbers randomly and still it's the same caller ringtone.
Why is everybody using the same caller ringtone?
Free is it? Or is there a conspiracy?

.

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Harap maaf, talian telefon anda telah disekat. Dail *119# dan pilih 'My Akaun' untuk maklumat bil. Terima kasih.

Sorry, your line has been barred. Dial *119# and choose 'My Account' for bill info. Thank you.

Aaaaaaaaaaa damn.

It couldn't have happened at a better time.

Anybody wanna pay for me? You know the number.
X)

Downgrade

Ahh.. finally i'm back to civilization.
Haven't been able to connect to the Net for the past 2 days.
I felt like i lost a part of me right there. haha

Our lives are so dependent on the Net now that even a few hours without it could pose a lot of problems.
Imagine the world without the internet.
It's even worse than Doomsday, some even said.

So, actually, i wasn't able to go online because of my stupid laptop.
It's performance has been deteriorating very badly lately.
Crashes and 'not responding' are so common that i don't scream and tear my hairs out anymore.

But suddenly, i got a BSOD the other day. And that's Blue Screen of Death for you. Go google it.
And that's the first time that it has ever occurred.



Then later that day, a lot of my Windows services could not be started, including Firewall, and yes, Wireless Internet whatever.
Which means.. i can't connect to the internet.

What a great way to prepare for the exams huh?

So, since i'm so fucking fed up with this shit, i decided to format my laptop.
Most people have upgraded to Windows 7, but i backtracked to Windows XP.
Yeah, i downgraded myself.

Nevermind, the Windows 7 can wait. After exams for sure.
So right now, i'm using shitty Windows XP.

Argh.. I'm so used to my Vista laptop, with all the specific programs and at their specific locations.
Now my laptop feels so light.
So skinny.
Soulless.
Now i have to 'reshape' her again.

Another thing missing right now is the VGA driver. Which makes surfing the net, or even exploring Windows look thrashy.
And downloading the 66MB of driver takes around 10 hours. Yeah. Damn the internet speed. 66MB for 10 hours!!

So, after everything is done, and after installing all the necessary apps and plugins, normal services will resume.
Let's just all wait, shall we?
haha

The Lighter Story

When i say lighter, i'm not referring to weight issues (light/heavy) or even colour (light/dark).

What i'm referring to, in this post are lighters, as in, the device, the mechanism that is used to create flame. Okay?

So, if you're a smoker, you'd probably be familiar with a range of lighters. The most common ones are the Cricket lighters, or maybe Aladdin lighters. There are also some lighters without brands. People don't really care. As long as it serves its purpose, then that's fine.

Cricket: Tahan Lebih Lama

Some, would beg to differ. A Zippo lighter is considered a fashion accessory. Zippo lighters are not only more expensive, they are also look more classy, refillable, and would certainly make the owner more appealing to women. For some, that is.

So, why the hell am i rambling about lighters?

Well, lighters are a pretty big issue, although it may cost just RM1.20 (not Zippo though).

For real, like, really?

You see, for people who smoke, lighters are very important. Without a lighter, how the fuck would you light up the cigarette, right?

Asking for a lighter would be a massive pain, and somewhat embarrassing, especially for someone with an ego bigger than Kanye West's.

And using matches is a big no-no in the public.

The biggest problem with basic lighters is...

They are all too similar.

Which means, they got lost too easily.

So, that is why most people hold on to their lighters very tightly.

Its importance is far greater than of cellphones and ICs.

And THAT is why a person who takes others' lighters are not accepted by the community.

Since these people tend to be friends and people that we know, calling them thieves would seem a bit harsh.

Therefore, i would like to call these people 'the lighter larcenist'.

Besides, it has a more sex appeal to it haha.

A larcenist is a person who commits larceny. Well, that's logic, right?

If you don't understand the meaning of 'larceny', look up the dictionary,

and hey, you've just learned a new word!

I know a lot of lighter larcenists.

And some of them are my best friends.

Let's take this one particular friend for example.

He's very very patriotic too.

He often, if not everytime, takes other people's lighters.

Accidental or not, it happens too many a time.

Even me myself, have fallen victim to his tactics, a few times!

Some of his modus operandi are:

• Eh, tu bukan lighter aku ke? Warna same la. Bak sini balik.

• Upon looking at a stray lighter, usually in other people's room, he would claim that that lighter was his.

Well, there's too many too mention. And this 'profession' of his, is also recognized internationally!

He confessed that he took some drunken guy's lighter at a nightclub, in Berlin!

Talk about expanding your business! Way to go.

This other friend of mine, Jon, was another victim to his sly tactics. This Jon guy has tried many ways to counter the lighter larcenist's tactics, but to no avail.

Some of his measures to counter the lighter larcenist are

• Buying a lighter with a lamp, which makes him easier to spot his lighter. And also very unique too.
• Tying his lighter at his cupboard, a la mamak stall.
• Buying super-duper weird lighters (skeletons, cars, etc.)
• Using matches

So far, the score is

Others 0 - 5 Lighter Larcenist

The accused, wearing a disguise. Click the picture to see him in action.

So, since this friend of mine, Jon, is very frustrated, he tried another way to counter this guy.

How?

Hamekkkk kauuu!

By buying a big, fucking lighter that is!

And when i say big, it means BIG.

Size DOES matter

And it remains to be seen whether this counter-measure is effective or not.

We'll see.

Do you have any other ideas to counter the Lighter Larcenist?

Please help me!

P/S: Smoking is bad for health.

Duit Raya or Angpau Raya

In my previous post, i said that i'll upload some pics of the Eve of Raya, and all the cooking and what not.

Unfortunately but unsurprisingly..

• my phone transfer cable is nowhere to be found
• my laptop does not have bluetooth
• I somehow managed to find a bluetooth dongle but it is not working
• my memory card holder is broken

And why the hell is it called Dongle anyway? Don't work?

... and so i could not transfer the photos from my stupid phone to the PC to upload it.

Nice.

So, i'll bitch about something else instead.

Duit Raya, or lack thereof.

It's hard to get a bloody ang pau these days. Damn, i feel so old.

The only ang pau that you can be sure to get from is of course from your parents. Yep, that's the only hope now.

And they keep on decreasing by the year. Sigh.

Oh, and not to forget from your older siblings. Luckily, i have a few. But the amount you can get from them is quite questionable haha.

And that's about it.

This is as good as it gets

Getting an angpau from a cousin? Heh, no way.

Ang pau from a paksu? Not anymore.

One from the mak long? Nahh.

They say being the youngest in the family is great, because you'll keep getting ang paus from people and from your older siblings. The so-called baby of the family bla bla bla.

I say being the youngest in the family makes me just as old as the other siblings. Just because my siblings are all working, and are actually old, that should not be a reason to regard me as one of them, or as old as them.

No angpau for you because you are old. What the..?

In this context/situation, i'm suddenly old lahh kann..

Sigh.

Cruel cruel world.

I still deserve angpaus. At least until next year, don't you think?

heheheh

Hari Raya = Duit Raya

So people, remember. Always give duit raya. Especially to me. Okay?

No duit raya means you're a bad bad host.

But then again, i'm not complaining much. Duit raya is just a bonus actually. The most important thing is of course the values of Aidilfitri.

The spirit of togetherness. The family and friends spirit. The bond and relationship.

Open houses and visiting each other.

We do these because it's our culture. Not because of duit raya.

Budi bahasa budaya kita.

err... NOT!