What the Fuck is This Shit?

So i went to the cafe the other day, to lepak and waste time and what not.
Since i am a poorfag, i just took an ais kosong, or sky juice.

It's free, and it's err.. healthy? Yeah, sugar and condensed milk is bad for the six pack yo.

While i was half-way drinking, i can't help but to look inside my drink.
You know me, right.
And i saw this.

What the fuck is that shit floating in my drink???

I'm not sure where it came from, or how, and i don't really quite know if it has been inside all along, or what.
So, i threw it away and got the hell out of the cafe immediately.

It does remind me a lot of this story which happened 3 years ago.
So what do you think it is, people?

Please don't tell me it's..

How Well Do You Know Your Shit?

To be the shit, you gotta know your shit. heh
So, here's a diagram for you to get to know your shit better.

The types of shit are

Click for larger shit

So, which shit do you usually shit?
Some people say that you are what you eat. But i think you are what you shit.
No?

Don't forget to check your shit later ok guys? And if you are willing you can share your shit as well. ahaha

And speaking of shit, it reminded me of this.

Wait for it..

Holy shi-

It was a long time ago, you can click HERE to read the shit story (pun not intended).
Sorry if i made you puke or lose your appetite. That's the whole point.

How to Train A Cat

This is actually a question,
not a tutorial, a guide or a how-to.

So, how do you train a cat?

You see,
me and my housemates recently adopted a cat a few days ago.
A stray kitten actually (the word 'adopted' sounds much more noble).

Her name is Molly.

Molly is a kitten, about a month old i guess.
And Molly is a she.

My friend picked it up as it was alone by the streets.
Poor thing.

Comel tak comel tak comel tak comel takkk??

Since me and the other housemates are noble and kind humanbeings,
we decided to accept Molly into the family.
Well, who doesn't like to play with a kitten?

And the friend who took Molly in is responsible for cleaning up Molly's shit and all.
Heck, Molly even has her bath daily.
hohoho

Being the only female in the house, Molly sure does get a lot of attention.
Her meows are cute, and she's a bundle of energy.
When she's hungry, oh boy, she sure knows how to ask for food.
She would even nibble at your toes to demand attention!

But Molly's bad habit is..
she likes to shit under the TV cabinet.

So, since there are so many cat lovers and cat persons out there,
how do i train a cat to do specific stuffs?
Unlike a dog, cats are much harder to train, yes?
And specifically, how do I train Molly to shit in the toilet?

Bad Start

As i have told you before, my exam starts last Thursday.
And it wasn't the best of starts.

The exam was at 8.30am.
By 7.40am, i was all set and ready.

Being the typical me, i did not prepare my stationeries earlier.
So, i dug out my pencil case and searched for pens and such.
There were a lot stuffs in my bulging pencil case.

Pens, mechanical pencils, highlighters, coloured pens and what not.

But the problem is, a normal, working pen was nowhere to be found.
It's either not in a good condition, as in the ink did not want to come out, or just plain out of ink.

Only certain words could be written clearly

Yep, there were 4 pens in total and 1 mechanical pencil.
Pilot, Stabilo, Papermate, you name it, i got it.
But none of them are serving their purpose.
Nice.

Even the Pilot Shaker is not working, damn

The ones that are working are the stupid fancy coloured pens, highlighters and other rubbish.
It was already 7.45am, and my friends were already waiting at the car park.

So, i searched the whole room frantically, and fortunately enough, i managed to find a working pen,
and a wood pencil somewhere somehow..
What the heck, it's the end product that matters, right?

And the wood pencil is kinda broken at the tip, so i had to search for a pencil sharpener and sharpen it.
As usual, the pencil would keep on breaking and all.
Luckily, i managed to get it right after a few attempts.

Back to basics yo

So, off i go to the car park. All of my friends were waiting inside the car already.
But then, i saw one of them holding something.
Something that i did not bring. Something that i should bring.

A calculator.

Aahh.. Damn. I forgot to bring my calculator.
So, i had to run back and get my calculator.

As i was running up the stairs, my shoelaces got untied,
i tripped,
and i nearly fell down.
Nearly.

And i saw a big pile of cat shit just right next to the spot i tripped.
It could have been a lot worse.
Phew.

So, i took my calculator and rushed back to the car.
Luckily, i didn't forget anything important.

I went into the examination hall, panting and sweating.
But not for long though.
It's 8.30am in the morning, the rain had just stopped, and the air-cond is at full blast.

Damn, i forgot my sweater!
Brain Freeze!

Luckily, my brain could still function well.

Sigh, not the best of start for the exams huh?
I told you, i had issues with Lady Luck.

That's why i needed all the good _uck i could get.

Holy Shit!

Picture this situation...

You are sleeping. Very soundly, very comfortably.

The weather's just nice. Cold and rainy.

You don't feel like waking up, because you are so freaking lazy.

But then, a sudden rumble in your tummy forces you to wake up.

You have no choice.

You had to wake up.

So, you went to the toilet.

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, or so they say.

The toilet that you went to has 4 stalls.

The first stall has faulty doors, which means you can't lock it. You can't even close it tight.

The second stall has no water. No hose. No flush.

The fourth stall was occupied.

That leaves us with stall number three..

But then,

you see this.....

Would you like to try the caramel macchiato with some added chocolate flakes?

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!

Come on, gimme a break!

To the person who fucking made that shit, i curse you and your family, and i damn you to hell!

The fucking flush is working well. There's no fucking reason for you to leave it just like that.

NO bloody reason. At all.

And even if the flush is not working, the very least you could do is to wash it away.

Damn, is that so hard?

Okay.

So, back to the situation.

What would you do if you were in that position?

1. Do nothing.
2. Scream, and shit in your pants.
3. Go back to sleep.
4. Wait for the fourth stall.
5. Find another toilet somewhere else.
6. Clean up the mess.
7. Snap a pic and blog about it.

Seriously, do NOT watch this [GROSS]

Watch this video.

You know you wanna watch it.

And it's worth it.

Don't worry, there is no terkejut-terkejut or any NSFW material in this video.

You'll at least squirm, i can promise.

And try not to puke, okay?

Two Girls One Cyst - Watch more Observe and Report

What is your reaction to THAT?

Need. Water. Now.

It's been quite a while since i last posted here. Been a bit busy lately. Yeah right.
Busy lah sangat kan. No, no. Malas actually. hahaha.

So, right now, i'm not really in a good condition. No, i'm not in an emotional state or anything. It's just that i haven't had my bath since this morning. It's already 2 something right now, which means, i haven't had my bath for the last 18 hours or so. That's 3/4 of a day already. Aha, i know. It sounds disgusting, but this is life inUniversity Malaya.

Smacked right in the middle of KL, but no water. WTF? This is not the first time. This is the gajillionth time already. And right now is the rainy season right? But still no water. Sigh.
Maybe the bloody roadworks around UM is causing the water shortage. I don't know. All i want is just some good, clean water for me to bathe. Oh, and for the stupid potholes all over UM to be covered.

So, right now, i don't know what to do. How to sleep when the body is so melekit? I wanted to study, but how to study like this meh?
Yeah right. LOL.

I woke up from sleep, with heavy rain pouring outside. Then i went to the sink, and there's no water. No water to wash the face, no water to drink from the water cooler, and not even a drop of water to shit make full use of the toilet. And then i went for my dinner at the dewan makan. And there's no water to even wash my hands.


What the hell, i proudly went for my dinner without washing my face after waking up. So, no need to wash the hands. Sure bersih. Belasah je lah. Luckily though, there is water to drink. But still, i got to spare some for washing my hands later.

There is an alternative actually. If you are rajin enough, you can go to the tangki air outside, bring a pail, fill with whatever water that is left, and go and do your business. But knowing me well, i prefer to just tahan whatever desire i have, for as long as i could.
No, no, actually i'm an optimist. I always think that the water will be back, soon. So, i wait la. No need to susah-susah, right? hahahaha.
Life is hard, eh?

It's not that it is such a big deal, but come on la. I need water. Everybody needs water. And this is not the first time this has happened.

But then again, i could have had my bath outside, at my friend's house or whatever. But you know lah kan, kalau dah malas tu malas jugak. Hopefully, the water is back next morning. Kalau tak, memang tak pergi kelas la esok. If not, i'll have to go to class wihout even bathing.

No way, if the water is not available by tomorrow, i'll seriously have to bathe somewhere. I don't care. Anywhere. Can't stand it anymore. Can't stand looking at the muka-muka tak mandi also. hahaha.

So, now i'm going to sleep with my muka yang berminyak and rambut yang serabai, without brushing my teeth and what not.

No, not because i'm malas to go to the tangki air or what.
It's just that it's kinda..... empty.
That's what people told me.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

By the way, the part before this paragraph is written at around 3am. I have actually published this post already, but then, i had to edit it because after writing and publishing this post, i actually bathe (huh?). So basically, what you read BEFORE THIS PARAGRAPH, is the original post, unedited. And from the next paragraph on, it is the newly added part.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I'm sure you're already confused by now. After publishing this post (the earlier part), a friend came to my room and said that the tangki air still has water in it. So, we went there and had our bath.

It's already 4am and it is very very cold outside. Who cares? I certainly don't. All i wanted is just to freakin' bathe.

The tangki air has four corners, and there are four taps at each side of the corner. And the tap is quite low. So, i had to squat down, and bathe under the tap. Get it?
I felt like a construction worker, living in a rumah kongsi, bathing under the tap of the tangki air, wearing boxers. But hell, who cares. It's cold, it's dark, but it was well worth it. And it's quite fun too. hahaha.

So now, i feel so fresh, i can't sleep.
That's why i am so rajin to edit/add to this post again.

On the brighter side, no more muka berminyak, no more rambut serabai and less muka tak mandi around.

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The Moneyshot?

When living in a place with other people, in my case, the college, there will be times when you encounter different cultures, different mindsets and many weird and new stuffs.
But there's this one particular thing that annoys me.

Whenever i want to use the toilet, there will ALWAYS be people using it. That's okay, since all of us are sharing the same facilities. The toilet in my college is usually packed during the normal peak times. Right now, the in-thing is to go to the toilet after berbuka puasa. Okay, i'm fine with that. I guess everybody wants to do their business or bathe or clean up before praying or do whatever they want.

But lately, during this month of Ramadhan, i observed that the toilet is packed a few minutes before the imsak, which is the start of the fasting period for the day. Now, i wonder, why is the shower cubicle is always occupied during this time? It seems like at that time, the person(s) using the toilet is(are) in a rush.
I made a theory, and told a friend,

Ala, biasa la tu. Nak imsak kan, mesti la nak mandi wajib dulu. hahaha
(If you don't know what mandi wajib is, ask around)

Being a very good person with no bad thoughts of other people whatsoever, he told me that it is not good to think bad of other people and bla bla bla. Whatever. Right. The curiosity ends there.

But then again, looks like the theory is going to be put to test, errr.. involuntarily.

A few minutes before imsak, i went to the toilet, after drinking some algae-flavored water from the water cooler.
The toilet, or jamban okay, not the shower.
And by the way, the shower cubicle is occupied, and someone is bathing at that time.
Who cares.
As i entered the toilet, i saw a shaver, with hairs on it, on the tissue holder or whatever you call that thing.
Gross.

I wouldn't want to think what type of hair is on the shaver, who does it belong to, nor am i curious enough to find out. I closed an eye, and proceed to lift the toilet seat. Luckily, it's clean.

Suddenly, i felt a sticky sensation on my fingers. What the..
Again, gross.

I examined my hands. It's not yellow, nor is it brownish/chocolatey colored.
It's pale-whitish.

I don't know what got into my mind at that time, i proceed to smell the sticky substance on my fingers.

#$#@$@#&*&$%#$%##$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess what, air mani.
Gross BIG TIME.

I just fucking touched, and even sniffed some bloody bastard's cum!
Damn, i felt disgusted. I felt cheap!
That's what i get for being overly curious, huh.

After vigourously cleaning/scrubbing/sterilising my hands with all the types of soaps i can get my hands on, the guy who is bathing came out of the shower. Looking all fresh and bright. Fuck you, you sick bloody wanker.

I looked at him by the reflections of the mirror, while still cleaning/scrubbing/sterilising my hands again.
I thought to myself, you'll pay for this, man.
You'll seriously pay for this...
I'll have my payback.

On the brighter note,
My theory is proven right after all.

What a way to start my day.

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Holy Shit!

A few nights ago, i went to a bank in PJ. Right before stepping into the bank, i saw something which is not only disturbing, but also rude and unethical.


I took this photo from inside the bank. Can you see what are they doing?
At a first glance, it may look like the couple is checking on their tyre pressure. haha. But then again, look closely. There's another being in there, which is the daughter. No, you can't see the face of the daughter, but what you see there is actually her ass.



The daughter is shitting right over there, and the proud parents are gladly helping her to do her business, while being oblivious to their surroundings. Come on now, is it so hard to go to a bloody toilet? There's of course a mamak stall just across the street. An for a girl that small, shouldn't she be wearing a diaper?

When i was taking this photo, the mother of the shitting child even dared to give a cold look towards me, as if trying to say,
What you looking-looking? Mind your own business lah, don't be so kaypoh lah!

Am i the one who's guilty now? What the hell right, who cares, you should be ashamed of yourself, your husband and your shitfaced daughter!
So, i took more pictures instead. And post it in this blog. Serves you right.

The mother then wipes her daughter's ass, puts the girl into the car, while the hubby looks over, and just drove off. Just like that. Oh, and they left the present there too.

So, is this how parents these days teach their young ones? Is this how we are brought up?
Isn't there any feeling of shame, or guilt?
If this is the kind of upbringing the girl is having, god knows what will happen to her when she grows up. By the age of 9, she'll be peeing at the back of her school's classroom.

That's the problem with kids these days. Their attitude is wrong. They don't have any respect to anybody anymore. There is no humility. Why?
Don't blame it on the school, don't blame it on friends' influence, or even the government.
Blame the parents.

Luckily, i was brought up by the best parents a child could ask for, where moral values and ethics are very important. So, you won't find me doing that kind of thing in the public. LOL.

And lastly, being a very curious person that i am, i decided to take a look at the "crime scene" after the the "shit family" has left.
A present for a supposedly lovely Ramadhan night.





Baby poop. How cute.

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