What the Fuck is This Shit?

So i went to the cafe the other day, to lepak and waste time and what not.
Since i am a poorfag, i just took an ais kosong, or sky juice.

It's free, and it's err.. healthy? Yeah, sugar and condensed milk is bad for the six pack yo.

While i was half-way drinking, i can't help but to look inside my drink.
You know me, right.
And i saw this.

What the fuck is that shit floating in my drink???

I'm not sure where it came from, or how, and i don't really quite know if it has been inside all along, or what.
So, i threw it away and got the hell out of the cafe immediately.

It does remind me a lot of this story which happened 3 years ago.
So what do you think it is, people?

Please don't tell me it's..

The Bus Accident

I got involved in a bus accident. 
No, i didn't hit a bus. And no, i did not get run over by a bus as well.
I'm okay, i'm still alive.

To cut the story short, i was in the bus (on Wednesday), and the bus that i was in hit another bus.
How cool is that huh?

RapidKL Bus

So basically, the bus that i was in (RapidKL) was trying to manoeuvre it's way into a junction when another bus, a Metrobus was kinda blocking the way.
The Metrobus stopped at the side of the main road (typical bus attitude), and so the RapidKL bus was not having any shit and so decided to transform into a Kancil and tries to manoeuvre past the Metrobus.

Here comes a new challenger! Metrobus

Since it's a bus vs a bus, one bus will definitely lose.
And the Metrobus did lose its' side mirror and the RapidKL bus got its windows scratched and cracked.
What makes it interesting is that i was basically seating near the point of contact between the two buses.

I was like WTF?
Pagi-pagi lagi dah sial. Alhamdulillah i am okay.

Figure 1A: How it happened

I'm sorry that there are no pictures of the incident, as it was raining and nobody really seems to give a shit except a few makciks and akaks.
But the akak behind me dah mengucap-ngucap dah. hahaha

Luckily, nothing major happened, and i'm still alive and unscathed.
And luckily, the bus was slow and the other bus was not moving.
Things would surely have been different if the windows got broken or smashed or something.
Then you might not see this post at all.

*insaf sejenak*

Fuck the Touch N' Go Topup Machine

It's been a while since i posted something under the sial label.
This happened on Monday.

So, i just got back from the office, and i went to the topup machine to top up my Touch N' Go card at the Kelana Jaya RapidKL station.
The machine is easy actually.
Just press the topup button, insert your money and touch your card and your card will be topped up.

Menyusahkan

But nothing is easy when it comes to me. It's just one of those days.

After inserting RM50 into the machine, the money got stuck inside and the machine displays "TIADA SERVIS".

The fuck?
I pressed and half-smashed the buttons and yet nothing happens. Not even a receipt of the transaction (or the non-transaction, to be more precise).

Mesin bodoh

So, in rage, i went to the ticket counter and told the brader.
He said that they can't do shit about it and i have to go to Touch N' Go's main office in KL Sentral to get my money back.
I was like WTF?

KL Sentral alone is just pure madness. Going there at 6pm during the rush hour is just insane. I had no choice.
So, i went to the office and i had to take a number and queue up. Again, i raged.

When my turn came, i told the akak about my situation. She took down my card number and what not, and asked me the number of the machine.
How the fuck am i supposed to remember?

I told her to call the station and just ask for the number but she couldn't do that since Touch N' Go and RapidKL are different entities. WTF? I don't give a fuck, i just want my money back.
She asked me to go back to the station and take note of the number.

I fucking raged and i told her that all i remember was that the machine is the first one on the left.
Oh, maknanya nombor dia C01 la tu.
Fuck, whatever.

After getting all the details done, she told me that i have to wait for a month, exactly one month for me to get my money back. They need to investigate the shit first and all that jazz.
I was like, WTF? What's the problem, can't you just open the machine back and give me my money already?

No, they said because the machine will only be opened once a week or something.
Come on la, even in cheap arcades where you play a 50sen game, the apek will help you to smash the machine and get your money back if your money is stuck.

Remember this?

But no, i have to wait for a fucking month to get my RM50 back.
And the worst part is, i have to go there AGAIN to collect my money. And the akak said that they won't even call me when the shit is done. I have to just come there and be hopeful that everything is done.

Now i can't top up my card, i have to fork out extra money to go to your fucking office, and i have to wait for a fucking month to get my money back, and i have to spend more money to go to your fucking office to see your fucking face again to collect my money, just because your machine fucked up.

Tak ada duit susah, ada duit pun susah

A small problem which could have easily been solved in a matter of minutes became a month-long wait. I can accept the fact that your machine fucked up, hell, everybody fucks up once in a while. The thing is, the whole fucked up process is what makes me rage.
And i have a feeling that in a month's time, there will be more problems at the office. I can bet.

Any of you guys faced this problem before? What are the odds? Damn.

If only i had this in my bag..

And what if i smashed the machine and get the money myself? Will somebody come immediately to arrest me or will it take a week or a month for them to take actions?

Fuck you Touch N' Go, fuck your machines, fuck your methods in dealing with problems, and fuck RapidKL too.

Why it's Bad to Sleep During Maghrib [True Story]

Sleeping during the senja or dusk or Maghrib time is not a good idea.
You'll always oversleep and you'll end up with a bad headache.

This is what happened to me last night.
Click the picture to view my comic. X)

Click on it to have a better view and click again to zoom

True story.
Have you experienced anything like this?
I'm sure you have.

My First Rage Comic

It's Monday, so I'm not really in the mood for typing. Plus, you wouldn't wanna read wall of text, right?
So, today, I present you, a comic.

I didn't exactly 'draw' this, but i did this. There's an online generator for this kind of shit, which makes it easier to tell stories. hahaha

Click to enlarge and click again to zoom and read

True Story.
I guess i'll be posting more comics soon. heheh

January

Lately, i've been posting some trivial stuffs, some stupid stuffs and sometimes nothing at all.
I've not been able to reply to all your comments lately, let alone visit your blogs.
And thank you so much to those that still come here and all. 

I'm already one month into my internship now, and everything's just great and awesome at work, and I actually do have the time to do some blogging now, heheh.
So, did I miss anything?
How's your 2011 so far?

Well, for me, as usual, things are.. well.. let's just say.. interesting.
There's a lot of things that i wanted to write that will go directly under the label Sial, and hell i'm sure there's a lot more to come.

My everyday expression

Fipper the Slipper

Have you heard about the brand name Fipper?
Fipper is a brand for a slipper, or flip - flop, or selipar or anything that you might call it.
And it's kind of a cute and catchy name too.

No, i'm not here to promote Fipper or any selipar for that matter.

It's a rubber slipper, not a slip-on-rubber, if you know what i mean

This is a true story about Fipper the slipper.

I have a Fipper slipper. The girlfy bought it for me, last year or the year before that i guess.
It's cheap, less than RM15, it's comfortable, it's durable, and most importantly, it's sturdy.
By sturdy, it means that it's non-slippable, or you won't slip.
Err.. i'm still talking about a slipper.. ok?

The girlfy bought me a green Fipper and it has served me well until two months ago.
Nope, no malfunctions or defects.
It's just stolen.
And at a kenduri arwah at that (Google translator says its a 'late feast'. Or maybe a 'death feast' will make you understand better. But the word 'feast' seems just SO wrong).

Rest in peace, the green one. Missed but not forgotten.

So, i was left alone, slipper-less, Fipper-less, barefooted, and sad.
Don't get me started on how the girlfy reacts to that.
Although it might be cheap, the sentimental value is very high. hohoho

So, a few weeks after that (which was about 2 weeks ago), my sister got me a shiny brand new all-black Fipper.
Yay to the unbridled joy.
It's still cheap, and it's still sturdy.
Nice.

Fast forward to two days ago, the 1st day of the holy month of Ramadhan.
Guess what?
Come on, you know it's coming.

Black, new, shiny, and....

It's stolen again.

Yep.
I was at my bachelor pad, and all of the inhabitants(!) of the house are inside, including myself.
Naturally, at a bachelor pad, there would be many slippers lying all around the front door of the house.
But only my poor ol' Fipper is missing a.k.a stolen.

Damn, right?
Who the fuck steals a cheap bloody slipper during the broad daylight on the the first day of Ramadhan?
And who the fuck steals only one slipper while there are at least 6 pairs right there, with multiple brands (which includes another Fipper, and also a Quiksilver) all there for the taking?

Fipper oh Fipper, you're so super, you're so uber, i just want to pilfer.

I guess thieves nowadays know about quality rather than brands huh?

So, now i'm back to square one.
Lonely, slipper-less, Fipper-less, barefooted and sad.
And the sister suggests me buying selipar jepun Tat Sing.
You know, the crappy looking ones that people use to go to toilets and all.
And that is why they call it selipar jamban.

And funnily enough, i found the Fipper page on Facebook.
I quickly LIKED it, and guess what i posted on it's wall.

Click to enlarge

(and i bet there's like a million 'likes' already now, LOL)

So, now who wants to buy me a new Fipper?

Nightmares

Have you ever had a nightmare, and when you wake up,
you feel like the whole fucking dream was so bloody true?

And you start to get fucking cranky all day long,
and you just feel like breaking or smashing something?

Have you ever had a nightmare, and when you wake up,
all you wanted to do was just to continue sleeping peacefully, but you just can't?

You end up rolling and twisting and turning on your bed,
just thinking what the fuck is wrong?

Have you ever had a nightmare, and when you wake up,
and when you try to recall the dream, it's just so vague?

There's hardly anything that you can remember,
which makes it even more depressing.

Have you ever had a nightmare, and when you wake up,
the weather is all gloomy and makes you feel even more miserable?

The dreams that you had was in black and white,
dark yet bright, just like the weather.

Well, i just had one of those,
and i sure as hell don't fucking like it.

*Edited/Updated*
Going for the Friday prayers sure does help to cleanse the mind, though.
(this statement is not for justification purposes, mind you, ahem)

The Infested Tea

Drinking a hot cup of tea during this rainy season is a nice way to warm up your body.
And drinking tea while studying keeps you alert, and can stimulate the brain.
But it is also known that tea can dehydrate you faster. Right?

So, i made myself a cup of tea.
Cameron Valley Lemon Flavoured Tea, to be precise.
Not bad.

But since i was too busy studying, i drank only half of it.
After i finished studying, and when i wanted to finish it, my tea looks infested with stuffs.
Take a look.

Specimen A

Now, there are many particles in there.
I wonder how these things got into my tea.
And sorry for the picture quality. I don't do DSLRs.
Let's look at it one by one.

Ashes
These ashes may come from something burning in my room, for example, paper, or even tobacco. Hmm.. Maybe there were people smoking nearby, and the ashes got inside.

Hair
Don't ask me what hair that is. I don't want to know. But i can tell you that it is not curly.

Ants
There are about 8 ants inside my tea. For your information, i didn't put that much sugar inside. Not because i'm a health freak, but i'm running out of sugar. Wait. The sugar isn't even mine. Ants are bad for you and your brain. The old folks would always say,

Jangan makan semut. Bila cukup 44 semut nanti jadi pelupa/bodoh.
(Don't eat the ants. If you eat 44 of them, you'll become forgetful/stupid)

Although it may seem illogical, and there's no proof, it's quite right actually.
I may have eaten around 44000 ants in my lifetime. So, you do the math.

Stapler bullet
Now this is stupid.
Where the hell did THAT come from?
I for sure do not have a stapler, nor a stapler bullet. And i haven't been using one for a long time.
Or did the wind blew it inside? No way right.

My friend's explanation was even better.

Kau kena santau la tu. Dah macam cerita Long Khong dah. 
Lepas ni kau muntah ubat stapler la..

HAHAHAHAHA

The Fuel Lid/Cover

This is the continuation of the post entitled I Filled Up the Gas for Free.
If you haven't read it yet, it is advisable that you read it first so that you can attain the maximum input from
the story.
Click here to read it.

---------------------------------------------------

So, right after filling up the gas with the girlfy at the Kg. Baru Petronas station,
we decided to go to Mid Valley to pick up our booked cinema ticket, Jennifer's Body.

To avoid the after-office traffic jam,  we used some shortcuts here and there (Girlfy is GPS).
We even used the University Malaya exits to avoid traffic.
And just right outside UM, near the Pantai area, something weird happened.

There were quite a lot of cars on the road, and the traffic was somewhat heavy.
Then there was this rempitmotorcyclist beside our car.
The windscreen was wind down (the Kancil Turbo has faulty air-conds) and this motorcyclist guy is shouting to us, from the girlfy's side.

Kak, kak!

The guy was shouting to the girlfy, and he was pointing towards the car.
I looked at the guy, and i was like, what the hell is wrong with this him?
I'm afraid that he might snatch the girlfy's handbag or something (this cases do happen).

I looked again at him, and he looks kinda familiar.
Wait, this guy looks familiar.
Oh, it's a faculty mate.
Then he shouted,

Eh, Arip!
Weh, tempat minyak kau terbukak doh!

I couldn't really hear him because both of us were speeding.
After a while, i managed to understand what he was saying, and so i immediately stopped by the road
to take a look.

Indeed. The fuel lid was open, and the fuel tank's lid was right on top of the car.
Still there, unmoved.

Gempak tak?

I'm not sure how did the thing can manage to stay up there from Kg. Baru to Bangsar via Damansara.
It's as if the thing did not move at all, even after some extreme manoeuvres and all.
What are the odds?

I would not want to imagine what would, or could have happened if i did not realise about the fuel lid.
Just a flick of a cigarette would blow us into smithereens, and you would be reading some tragic story in the newspaper instead of this post.

Now, THAT, was close.
I still do have a little bit of luck in me i guess.

So, the moral of the story is

If you want to take money which is not yours, always be EXTRA careful after that.

Never ever take anything that doesn't belong to you. 

Honesty is the best policy.

Or are there more lessons?

Ahh.. whatever. I learned mine.

I Filled Up the Gas for Free

I went out with the girlfy yesterday.
So, as usual, if i'm in the college, i would borrow my friend's Kancil Turbo.

Normally, when you use somebody's car, you would always fill up the oil right?
Of course.
So, i filled up the gas at the Petronas station in Kg. Baru. It was around 5pm, and the after office rush is starting to kick in.

So, i filled up RM10 (cukup la tu) for that time, and gave the akak counter RM50.
The balance was supposed to be RM40, right?

RM50 - RM10 = RM40

But no. She gave me 5 pieces of RM10 instead.
I counted the money in front of her.
She was unaware. Totally.
This means, i'm about to fill up the gas for free.

Then, guilty conscience starts to creep in.


Should i take it?
or 
Should i return it?

Usually, in most cases, i would surely return back the money. It's just RM10 anyway.
But somehow, i really had a hard time in deciding whether to return or not.
Damn.

Then, i slowly turned around, and walked away from the counter.

What the fuck? Why am i doing this?
It's not worth it. Think of all the 'sial' that's surely gonna happen.
Remember Karma? 
What you give you get back. What you take you will lose.
Quick, go and return it!

Somehow, after all that shit came up on my mind,
i couldn't gather enough strength to turn back and return the money.
I went straight to the car, and drove off.
Why oh why?

I am Evil.
I'm sorry.
I never intended it.

If you were in my position, what would you do?

And little that i know, this decision would later haunt me....
Don't forget to come back later and read the continuation of this story..

The Caller Ringtone That You Will Hate

Just now, i tried calling the girlfy.But then, it looks like she has changed her caller ringtone.
Hmm.. that's weird.
And she did not even pick up.

Nevermind.
Next, i tried calling a friend to wake him up.
He asked me to wake him up via the phone, instead of knocking on his door.
Whatever.

So, i called him.
But then, this friend of mine is also having the same caller ringtone as the girlfy.
Damn. I smell something fishy going on.

So, i decided to call another friend, to ask what's going on.
Yeah, i'm very generous. I like to call people eventhough their rooms are just next to mine.

It's the same caller ringtone.
Damn, what the hell is going on here?

I tried calling other numbers randomly and still it's the same caller ringtone.
Why is everybody using the same caller ringtone?
Free is it? Or is there a conspiracy?

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Harap maaf, talian telefon anda telah disekat. Dail *119# dan pilih 'My Akaun' untuk maklumat bil. Terima kasih.

Sorry, your line has been barred. Dial *119# and choose 'My Account' for bill info. Thank you.

Aaaaaaaaaaa damn.

It couldn't have happened at a better time.

Anybody wanna pay for me? You know the number.
X)

Bad Start

As i have told you before, my exam starts last Thursday.
And it wasn't the best of starts.

The exam was at 8.30am.
By 7.40am, i was all set and ready.

Being the typical me, i did not prepare my stationeries earlier.
So, i dug out my pencil case and searched for pens and such.
There were a lot stuffs in my bulging pencil case.

Pens, mechanical pencils, highlighters, coloured pens and what not.

But the problem is, a normal, working pen was nowhere to be found.
It's either not in a good condition, as in the ink did not want to come out, or just plain out of ink.

Only certain words could be written clearly

Yep, there were 4 pens in total and 1 mechanical pencil.
Pilot, Stabilo, Papermate, you name it, i got it.
But none of them are serving their purpose.
Nice.

Even the Pilot Shaker is not working, damn

The ones that are working are the stupid fancy coloured pens, highlighters and other rubbish.
It was already 7.45am, and my friends were already waiting at the car park.

So, i searched the whole room frantically, and fortunately enough, i managed to find a working pen,
and a wood pencil somewhere somehow..
What the heck, it's the end product that matters, right?

And the wood pencil is kinda broken at the tip, so i had to search for a pencil sharpener and sharpen it.
As usual, the pencil would keep on breaking and all.
Luckily, i managed to get it right after a few attempts.

Back to basics yo

So, off i go to the car park. All of my friends were waiting inside the car already.
But then, i saw one of them holding something.
Something that i did not bring. Something that i should bring.

A calculator.

Aahh.. Damn. I forgot to bring my calculator.
So, i had to run back and get my calculator.

As i was running up the stairs, my shoelaces got untied,
i tripped,
and i nearly fell down.
Nearly.

And i saw a big pile of cat shit just right next to the spot i tripped.
It could have been a lot worse.
Phew.

So, i took my calculator and rushed back to the car.
Luckily, i didn't forget anything important.

I went into the examination hall, panting and sweating.
But not for long though.
It's 8.30am in the morning, the rain had just stopped, and the air-cond is at full blast.

Damn, i forgot my sweater!
Brain Freeze!

Luckily, my brain could still function well.

Sigh, not the best of start for the exams huh?
I told you, i had issues with Lady Luck.

That's why i needed all the good _uck i could get.

Unrivalled Stupidity

I have just downgraded my laptop to XP,
and there's a lot of stuffs that i don't really like.

Okay, now that's not the point.
The point is now, there's something "missing" in my Blogger's Edit Post section.
See the pic below.

Missing?

Did you see something not right there?
There are a lot of things/buttons missing actually.

Fonts
Size
Bullets
Paragraphs
Colour

..to name a few. I couldn't remember all of them.

Where the hell did they go? As far as i'm concerned, i'm using the latest versions for all of my web Browsers, i've updated all the necessary updates, installed all drivers and plugins.

What the hell did i miss?
Or does it have something to do with this Blogger thingy?

I can't stand swearing only in bold or in CAPITAL letters.
I need my "largest" font and my colours back.

Although it's just a simple matter of adding some HTML tags, it's still a bane.
haha

But then again..

And just as i was about to hit the PUBLISH POST button, i saw something kinda odd.
I was in the Edit Html tab.
So, i pressed the Compose button.

Hey, the fucking buttons are there!

Argh damn!
It was there all along!
It's just that the window was in Edit Html mode, instead of the usual Compose mode.

All i needed to do was just click ONE fucking button.
So much for all the updates and plugins.
And poor XP has to take all the blame.

• • Damn damn damn damn.

Now i can finally use all the "missing" features.
(lepas geram)

If i were a blonde woman, i would have been the prettiest bimbo.
Ever.

Downgrade

Ahh.. finally i'm back to civilization.
Haven't been able to connect to the Net for the past 2 days.
I felt like i lost a part of me right there. haha

Our lives are so dependent on the Net now that even a few hours without it could pose a lot of problems.
Imagine the world without the internet.
It's even worse than Doomsday, some even said.

So, actually, i wasn't able to go online because of my stupid laptop.
It's performance has been deteriorating very badly lately.
Crashes and 'not responding' are so common that i don't scream and tear my hairs out anymore.

But suddenly, i got a BSOD the other day. And that's Blue Screen of Death for you. Go google it.
And that's the first time that it has ever occurred.



Then later that day, a lot of my Windows services could not be started, including Firewall, and yes, Wireless Internet whatever.
Which means.. i can't connect to the internet.

What a great way to prepare for the exams huh?

So, since i'm so fucking fed up with this shit, i decided to format my laptop.
Most people have upgraded to Windows 7, but i backtracked to Windows XP.
Yeah, i downgraded myself.

Nevermind, the Windows 7 can wait. After exams for sure.
So right now, i'm using shitty Windows XP.

Argh.. I'm so used to my Vista laptop, with all the specific programs and at their specific locations.
Now my laptop feels so light.
So skinny.
Soulless.
Now i have to 'reshape' her again.

Another thing missing right now is the VGA driver. Which makes surfing the net, or even exploring Windows look thrashy.
And downloading the 66MB of driver takes around 10 hours. Yeah. Damn the internet speed. 66MB for 10 hours!!

So, after everything is done, and after installing all the necessary apps and plugins, normal services will resume.
Let's just all wait, shall we?
haha

Holy Shit!

Picture this situation...

You are sleeping. Very soundly, very comfortably.

The weather's just nice. Cold and rainy.

You don't feel like waking up, because you are so freaking lazy.

But then, a sudden rumble in your tummy forces you to wake up.

You have no choice.

You had to wake up.

So, you went to the toilet.

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, or so they say.

The toilet that you went to has 4 stalls.

The first stall has faulty doors, which means you can't lock it. You can't even close it tight.

The second stall has no water. No hose. No flush.

The fourth stall was occupied.

That leaves us with stall number three..

But then,

you see this.....

Would you like to try the caramel macchiato with some added chocolate flakes?

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!

Come on, gimme a break!

To the person who fucking made that shit, i curse you and your family, and i damn you to hell!

The fucking flush is working well. There's no fucking reason for you to leave it just like that.

NO bloody reason. At all.

And even if the flush is not working, the very least you could do is to wash it away.

Damn, is that so hard?

Okay.

So, back to the situation.

What would you do if you were in that position?

1. Do nothing.
2. Scream, and shit in your pants.
3. Go back to sleep.
4. Wait for the fourth stall.
5. Find another toilet somewhere else.
6. Clean up the mess.
7. Snap a pic and blog about it.

The Same Mistake, Again!

It's that time of the year again. Exams.

But in UM, it's a lil' bit different.

In order to take your exams, you have to have the examination slip, like usual.

But,

to get the examination slip, you have to settle all your fees and shit.

Well, that is quite logical, and a reasonable thing to do, to avoid students from not paying.

But there are some other stuffs that are just plain absurd. For example

• If you fail to take your examination slip from your faculty before a certain period, you have to pay RM15. WTF

I won't waste my time complaining on the perkhidmatan kesihatan which i have never used ever since i stepped in here, or even the ridiculous yuran perpustakaan, again which is somewhere i don't go to.

But luckily, and surprisingly, this semester provides no sial moments for me in terms of examination slips and payment of fees.

Except for..

..some stupid things that i have to pay for.

Which is,

DENDA GAGAL PULANG KUNCI-SEM 1 2009/2010.

Ahh.. you're supposed to learn from your past experiences.

Looks like i did not learn enough.

I repeated the same mistake.

Damn, i will get my revenge!